It’s hot this summer. Very hot. And as we let climate change push us further into the dystopian Mad Max Wasteland a nice cold beer would feel so good on our chapped lips, so cool on its way down our burning throats. But not so fast! Thanks to Immortan Trump, that frosty, thirst quenching brew is gonna cost ya.
When this serial business failure turned president heaped aluminum tariffs onto his “very stable genius” trade war earlier this year, I wondered how that’d effect canned beer prices. I don’t have a taste for beer, myself, but the hoards of chest-thumping Trumpists I coexist with do. That is, judging from the empties punctuated by the also empty bullet shell casings littering every corner of the surrounding wilderness that an ATV can reach on a tank of gas. And cheap beer too! The cheapest! As much as they can swallow. Mainly Busch, sold by case blocks stacked into pyramids at every store within shooting distance.
Well, wonder I no longer.
Once in awhile I notice a discarded Coors can, no doubt gulped down by a classy high roller. Gonna have to dig a little deeper too, my friend.
Hey, but at least we get a few bucks extra back in our paychecks (for a few years anyway) to offset the increased costs of our drinking habit, our new pickup truck and gazillion percent compounded interest on the deregulated payday loan we took out to make up for our falling wages. But the economy’s great! So much winning!
Not that I’m unaffected but I don’t guzzle my preferred Xyience brand of canned energy drinks as a substitute for water either. And, thankfully, I purchased my car and paid off my student loans before this incompetent regime took the American helm and steered us into the rocks. I only wish I’d nabbed solar panels beforehand too.
It’s only fair and with no small amount of irony that the Trumpists under the delusion that they were exceptional in any way suffer the same disaster they foisted upon their neighbors in their thirst for liberal tears. And maybe, just maybe, the tax on aluminum imports will drive up demand to recycle and encourage slobs ’round here to clean up after themselves if only to help offset the increased cost of their drinking habits and falling wages.
I’ll drink to that! 🍻