Blood pressure normal. Not diabetic. So saith the good doctor during todays follow up to my visit several weeks ago when I was diagnosed with high blood pressure and prescribed medication. There were several contributing factors: I was dealing with a difficult client at the time and I was drinking copious amounts of Mountain Dew Amp energy drink to relax.
Yes, relax. Stimulants relax people with hyperactive disorders. I've never been official diagnosed with any such disorder but I am aware of a certain degree of [persistent and completely irrational] anxiety and stimulants tend to put me at ease. Never the less, the physical consequences remain the same for me as other people and high blood pressure is among them.
Ironically, I was drinking Amp to kick Mountain Dew which makes as much sense as shooting smack to kick pot. And it didn't take much to get me hooked either, much less difficult than coming off it. The stuff is everywhere, two 16oz cans for $3.00, whole cases of the stuff next to the checkout lines in grocery stores. I kept thinking, Just one. I can drink just one and that'll be okay.
But it was not okay! I had become an energy drink junkie. The shit was giving me irregular heart rhythms and withdrawals resulted in muscle spasms in my chest that made me fear I was having heart attacks.
 Josta by Pepsi Co. |
This isn't the first time I'd fallen off the wagon and hit my head on a rock. Some years ago I was a bonafide Josta swilling junkie. It had an acquired licorice-berry taste that all but guaranteed that no one except for few and far between fellow Josta cultists would touch it. It also contained guarana, the natural caffeine that kicks the ass of the artificial caffeine in normal soft drinks. Also one of the ingredients in Amp and dozens of others energy drinks on the market today.
I remember my dad walking in and finding 20oz, yellow capped, empty Josta bottles everywhere and saying, you've got a problem!
I don't have a problem,
I'd say defiantly. I can quit anytime.
That proved strangely prophetic when Pepsi did, indeed, pull Josta off the market due to lagging sales of the product collecting dust on store shelves. I remember hearing the news from a local clerk and driving to every convenience store in a 30 mile radius to clean out the final dose of their Josta supplies. But it didn't last long. I drank my area dry in just a few days time and then there was no more. I suffered a 3 day migraine helluva headache withdrawing from my prematurely ended habit. Some months later some friends of mine found and brought me some Josta. That didn't keep long either. And recently, another friend discovered a case of Josta that was stashed for years on the Evergreen campus but when she returned with the money to buy it, it was gone. The last Josta I had was around New Years 2000 thanks to my sister hiding one final bottle of the wicked brew.
Good thing too. This shit will kill you! It will FUCKING KILL YOU!!! Some deaths have been linked with energy drinks, especially when imbibed after exercising or mixed with alcohol which means that alcoholic, energy drink infused hybrids like Sparks and Tilt are even worse.
For an entertaining approximation of how many of your favorite energy drink it will take to kill you check out Death By Caffeine.
